St. Columb - Chapter Four

IV

For a moment, I seemed frozen as did she. She was beautiful, blossomed into a young woman she had. I some how managed to speak, though my throat was dry and my voice trembling.
“L—Lynsay?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper. “Oh God, is it you?” I reached out and touched her cheek; her eyes were wide as she took my hand.
“Rachel?” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.
I remember not saying anything else, but taking her in my arms and holding her tight. I could feel her tears on my neck, soaking my collar; we said nothing, our sobs were all the words we needed. It must have been several minutes before we pulled apart, I remember even after we did we said nothing for another several minutes. I looked at her, she was a vision; I thought she favored mother. She was a hair shorter than I; with long honey-colored hair, a fair complexion, and, of course, those beautiful jade eyes that I had searched for in the faces of thousands of children. She had transformed from a tiny little sprout of a child, to a beautiful, shapely young woman. She told me later that my hair wasn't the light brown she remembered, but had changed to an auburn color or else she would have recognized me right away.
“Well, it seems as though you two know each other. So I'll take my leave, Rachel you can find me in the mess hall's kitchen when you're ready.” Emma replied, she was smiling at us both; she then turned and made her way to the mess hall.
We made our way back to the tree that Lynsay was originally sitting under.
“Rachel I always knew you would find me! Even when I was brought here, I knew that somehow you would find your way to me.”
“Oh Lynsay I can't comprehend to you how happy I am right now. How did you wind up so far outside of London? Be honest with me, I won't get upset I promise. I'm just so happy you're beside me again.” I embraced her again. She pulled away and looked down, she hesitated a minute and began to tell me of her journey to St. Columb:
“Well...after the bombing that night, I awoke in a hospital. Apparently I had a nasty gash between my shoulder blades, and had taken a sharp hit to the head.” She pulled her hair back to show me the scar from the laceration, it stretched horizontally from the top of one shoulder blade, to the bottom of another. I remember feeling ill and cursing myself for not making more of an effort to stay close to her.
“After I had healed up, they inquired about my family. I lied and said that I had been separated from them during the air-raid, that they were sure to be looking for me. I feared that if I had told them that it was just you and I, they wouldn't have let it slide as much. I awoke one night to overhear the nurse and doctor saying that they had someone coming from the city orphanage tomorrow to take me away. I got scared, I thought that if I went I would never see you again...maybe if I had gone with them...” she trailed off, turning her gaze to the creek.
“Lynsay darling you couldn't have known that I would have chosen the occupation that I did.” I said, taking her hand. “Don't feel responsible for anything...these were events that neither of us could have controlled...”
“I suppose you're right....anyway I ran away that night. I went back to the last place I saw you and backtracked. I thought that if I did that maybe someone could lead me to you. I gallivanted around, looking for you, and slept where I could. It wasn't until the bombings started to get terrible that I left the city, a group of other people my age were fleeing to the country. Most of them vowed to come back once the Germans left, I being one of them. We separated afterwords, I managed to find an abandoned shed a few miles away from here. I—I did have to steal Rachel....I had no money and I was awfully hungry...” she started to cry. “I know it was bad, but I promised that I would try to make up for it somehow...oh you must be so disgusted with me....”
“Oh my dear sister, I could never be disgusted with you....” I embraced her, stroking her hair. “You were doing what you had to in order to survive, I would've been so scared that I would've gotten caught.”
“Well...I did. That's how I wound up here. See, Dougan goes into town every day with things to sell from the garden if there's any to spare; which usually there isn't but it happened to be my saving grace that this one day there was.” she said plucking at the grass. “I hadn't eaten in quite some time and I was famished. My hunger clouded my judgment and I tried to steal a loaf of bread when I thought no one was looking. Well Dougan saw me, and tried as I did to escape, that man can bloody run.” she said, laughing a bit. I smiled, so Dougan was my sister's saving grace; I would have to be sure to talk to him about this next time I saw him.
“He caught me by the arm, I tried to fight back. I must have looked a fool, clawing and scratching at him as if it would do any good. He bound my hands, he told me it was for the safety of his eyes. He explained to me that if had only asked, he would have gladly given me the bread; now he had no other choice but to take me to the police. I begged him not to, I knew that I would never escape the police; I know now that he was only saying that for bargaining power, the sneaky Irishman.”
“Oh no dear, he's only half-Irish.” I smiled, earning me a laugh from Lynsay.
“Yes I know. As it turns out he told me that I had to come here and stay for three years in order to 'pay my dues' for stealing. I asked him how he knew I was going to stay, that I wasn't going to just run away in the cloak of night. He simply said that I had honest eyes and that if I had a lick of conscience or heart I wouldn't run. I know now that he saw how emaciated and sick I was, and he knew that I wouldn't have survived much longer in that pitiful little shack. I owe him my life...” she said, smiling at me.
“Well, I'll have to properly thank Dougan when I next see him. Tell me Lynsay, why did you tell them your name was Lyn?”
“I was scared that people were still looking for me so I shortened my name and didn't tell them my last name....at first I was scared that you wouldn't be able to find me, but something told me that you would so I didn't worry about it anymore.”
Before I could respond, the bell rang for supper; all of the children ran toward the mess hall, laughing and calling out to one another. Lynsay and I stood, linked arms and followed them; I stopped a few feet from the door, noticing a figure sulking beneath the willow on the far corner of the building.
“Is that Robby?” I asked Lynsay
“Yes, he always waits until everyone else is inside before he goes in. That way he can go in unnoticed, he's a bit of an odd duck. I know that he's been through something terrible but there's just something not quite right about him, like he's hiding something. I usually steer clear of him.”
“Why's that dear?”
“Because he tried to kiss me once, then when I said no he became...different. I can't describe it but it gave me the willies. Now I only associate with him when there's a lot of people around. Come on Rachel, I'm hungry and Mrs. Noll's making her roast beef tonight.” Lynsay tugged at my arm, I followed.

I still, even to this day, can see Robby sitting underneath that tree; though he was some distance away from us, I could still feel his eyes on us as we walked into the mess hall. Even now, I still wonder if I had followed my instinct then, if things would be different. Maybe the tragedies wouldn't have happened, maybe I could have done something for him. We mustn't dwell on the past, that's what they say, we must learn from our mistakes and move on. That's what the sycophants say when they don't know what else to say; they give empty advice in order to say that they did their best for you

I wonder what they would say if they knew what I know now or had seen what I had.