Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Picking up where I left off

I've grown up quite a bit in the past year, and in that growing up I totally forgot that I had this blog. So, here we go:

I suppose the reason I'm writing this is to remind myself what I'm grateful for, I, like so many of us, tend to forget what there is to be grateful for in life; for whatever your reason may be, I think the important thing is to recognize that you can occasionally loose track, and that's okay as long as you find yourself picking up where you left off. Life can be trying; it can be a real bitch to even the most positive of people. We've all had those really low periods in our lives where it seems futile just to get off the couch, and after seeing Bridesmaids, its times like that where I really wish I had a friend like Megan (minus the nine dogs).

I promise I have a point here, just bear with me.

There is a scene in the movie where Megan goes to visit Annie, who has had a pretty bad time to say the least (to those who have seen it please don't spoil it for those who haven't). Annie is ambivalent, she doesn't want anything to do with anyone or the outside world; she's hit rock bottom. Megan proceeds to slap the hell out of her, taking on the persona of "Life," and proceeds to bite her in the ass whilst continuing to slap the hell out of her. "Life" is kicking (and biting) Annie's ass, and she's just letting it happen. Megan is telling her "I'm trying to get you to fight for your shitty life!" Finally, Annie gets so tired of getting slapped around by "Life" (honestly the bite on the ass would've done it for me) that she slaps back almost surprised that she had it in her (or afraid that Megan is going to kick her ass, but I digress).

It is then that possibly the most poignant and impacting piece of advice in the movie: "You are your problem Annie, and you're also you're solution."

How can you be your own solution?

By realizing that you have an amazing family, a family that makes you laugh more than they get on your nerves; that your sister knows you more than anyone ever will, or that your father is the greatest human being in the world. That you have possibly the greatest friends in the universe, and they're more like family because either you've known them all your life or they just "get" you. How about all of the teachers that have impacted you, do they realize that they are the sole reason why you chose to teach yourself? Realizing that you are still being taught, there is still so much to learn, and despite your age...your are not wise.

I'm a human being. I swear, I tend to be belligerent and loud, I have so much baggage that any bellboy in his right mind would turn and run the other way, I'm terrible with money, I hate paying for things that don't bring me pleasure (i.e. car payments, insurance, gynecologists visits, etc) I would rather use the money for a trip, I tend to drink too much at parties and become even more belligerent and loud, and I have a really hard time trusting and opening up to people.

But I'm a human being, I feel love, happiness, joy, anger, jealousy, sadness, etc. I am a work in progress, and will be until I die. But that's okay, because I have so much I'm thankful for.