Online Harassment

The Internet is probably the most influential and fundamental invention of my lifetime. I’ve seen the birth of America Online, Macbooks, iPhones, and Androids; I’ve seen obscure websites like Facebook and Twitter grow into the juggernauts they are today. It’s pretty amazing to be a part of something like that.

However.

I’ve also seen the darkest parts of the Internet and what it can do to people. How it can ruin and sometimes end lives, and how one click of a button can change everything. I was watching a popular show on HBO called Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and he was covering a story about Internet harassment. It’s mind blowing the amount of harassment that goes on, and if you don’t think that it does or that it’s not a big deal well congratulations on being an average white guy. If you are a woman and you make the “mistake” of trusting someone, or if you dare to have a thought in your head and post it on the Internet then you are probably going to face some sort of harassment or even worse. Take Anita Sarkeesian for instance. Those of you who are not familiar with her probably aren’t into video games; she’s very popular amongst that group of people, sometimes for the wrong reasons. Sarkeesian is a voice for women in video games and a critic as well; she frequently posts her reviews online and vocalizes the obvious sexism in the video game industry. She has not only received lewd remarks for doing so, but some of these are much more serious and threatening. She has received death threats not just geared towards her, but her entire family. She has also received rape threats that often are graphic and way too disturbing for me to even quote. Despite the threats she still keeps going, refusing to let these threats of violence deter her from her end goal.

Amanda Hess, a writer who posted a critique on the harassment of women online, received threats that were along the lines of “I’m going to rape you and cut off your head.” She went to the police, (it is against the law in California where she lives to make threats of bodily harm) and the police officer that came to her door didn’t even know what Twitter was. The officer didn’t really think that a crime had been committed even though clearly it had. When the police don’t understand something they cannot investigate it,if they can’t investigate it and come to a conclusion, then the person who committed the crime gets away with it. How would you feel if you were that person? Knowing that this sick individual got away with doing harm to you or your loved one?

Online harassment doesn’t just stop at threats of violence; there is another way women are harassed and humiliated: it’s called revenge porn. Revenge porn is where private and/or nude photos are posted online for the world to see without their consent. Now I can hear the response already: “Well if you don’t want that to happen don’t take those sorts of pictures!” First of all, not all of the pictures are taken; some are stolen from hacking webcams. Secondly that statement is what I like to call “victim blaming.” What you do in your own personal time with your partner is YOUR business, the news and other sources have hard-wired this sentiment in our brain. What victims are often told are “Sorry about your luck, but you trusted the person so it’s kind of your fault” or if it’s about general harassment some victims are often told “Just turn off your computer, it’ll go away eventually.” Okay first “turn off your computer” is not practical because we use the internet almost every minute from our PC’s to our phones, I mean somewhere in the world right now there is a sheep herder in some remote location using wifi; secondly blaming a person for something because they trusted another person is stupid, what if that person stole from you or worse? How would that make you feel? “Oh sorry about your loss but it is kind of your fault for trusting that person.” Insert any other crime into this situation, “I mean if you don’t want to get robbed, don’t live in a house!” “If you don’t want your identity stolen don’t shop online!” See what I mean? It’s all about the way we think about these things, and how they are presented to us. It’s always the victims fault until suddenly you are the victim. What you do with your significant other is your business, and if they betray that trust then our response shouldn’t be “well you shouldn’t have trusted them.”

If a woman goes to the police stating that someone threatened her life on Twitter, or if she goes to a lawyer because her vindictive lover posted nude photos of her online the response should not be “What in the world is Twitter?” or “Well you should date better people.” This is 2015, and the fact that women are still being harassed just because of the simple fact that they are women with thoughts is ludicrous.

The purpose of this article is not to rant or rage, the purpose is to get people to think of things differently. We need to raise our daughters to be strong and independent, and our sons to be respectful and upstanding. If you go to John Oliver’s YouTube page and watch the video on Online Harassment, you’ll see it has a 40% “downvote.” Why? Because people don’t want to talk about it or acknowledge that it’s happening and that’s the major part of the problem. We can be part of the solution by bringing it out in the open, talking about it, and teaching our children that these things are wrong.

#8: The All mighty Uterus

I have often been called a feminist, which is defined by dictionary.com as a person whose beliefs and behavior are based on feminism; Relating to feminism which is the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

If that's the definition that people think of when they here 'feminist' then hell to the yes that's what I am. However when people hear the words 'feminist' or 'feminism' they often peg it with negativity. Then think of a bunch of angry lesbians marching on some big corporation with torches and signs. Or they think of Barbara Streisand's character in The Way We Were, or some really annoying nasally woman with a megaphone.

The next question is obvious: Why do people, even women themselves, automatically go to that stereotype when they hear the phrase 'Feminism'? The answer is simple: Men.

Your next response is probably: "Duh, as a feminist yourself you're going to blame this shameful stereotype on men.". A conditioned response dear friends, allow me to regale you:

Go to any major newspaper's website: The New York Times, The Washington Post or USA Today and find me 7 front page articles that involve women shown in a positive light. Go ahead I'll wait...........if you find any, leave them in the comments with the link.
Now go to a crappy entertainment website: TMZ, Entertainment Tonight, ect. , ect. and see what kind of light women are portrayed in. Beyonce singing to the little girl with cancer does not count. I'm talking currently, as in right now as you're reading this.

My bet is that you won't find anything. Why? Because I look everyday and don't find them. Now I found tons of articles during the election, but after Obama became president they disappeared like they never existed. Occasionally you'll get one or two but its usually followed by '...and she's creating a stink about everything.'

Now lets go to Katie Couric. I love her, I think she does a wonderful job as a news anchor but has anyone noticed that she's not a feminine as she was when she started out? Her hair's shorter, and she's wearing suites that do nothing for her figure. Why all of a sudden a change? Because men feel that a woman needs to assimilate into a masculine field. Her ratings are going up sure, but wearing a suite that flatters her figure and have a hairstyle that's cute and flirty? People won't watch that, they'll think she's a slut.

How about in the sports world? If you look at any major university you'll see that the boys athletic programs get twice, if not three times more than the woman's athletic programs. Why? Because God forbid that the Woman's field hockey team should take home the championship and the boys soccer team shouldn't. Women have no place in sports, their home is behind a desk or cleaning house. Turn on any sport channel and see how many games you find that involve woman's sports.

If you saw the November 25th edition of Newsweek you probably remember Sarah Palin being on the cover. Now, I am not a Palin supporter by any means but I did not like the way they portrayed her in the least. If you didn't see it, you can find it here: http://flapsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/Sarah-Palin-on-Newsweek.jpg

yahoo news also did an article on it: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20091117/pl_ynews/ynews_pl984


If I were her (which I'm SO GLAD I'm NOT), I think I would be angry too. The photo was originally published in the August 2009 issue of Runners World, she stated in her blog that 'The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist and oh-so-expected by now. If anyone can learn anything from it: it shows why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, gender, or color of skin. The media will do anything to draw attention -- even if out of context.' Now, I don't agree with her on a lot of things and I'm not going to go into that because that's a whole new blog, but I do agree with that statement to an extent. Of all the pictures they could have chosen, they chose one of her in short runners shorts and sneakers. This wasn't an attempt by Democrats to discredit her in an attempt to hurt the Republican party, this was an attempt to discredit her as a woman in politics. Every woman that has ever tried to make an impact in the political world has suffered the same thing. Look at Hillary Clinton and her attempt to run for president, people kept saying it wasn't possible. It wasn't possible because we thought it wasn't possible. Because we're conditioned to think that the position as President of the United States is a man's position. Because we're conditioned to think that the position as President of the United States is a man's position. When she decided to withdraw from the race, I'm sure that several male politicians, both Democrat and Republican wiped their foreheads and remarked how they dodged the bullet.

Lets not forget how that every single book in the Bible is authored by men, and how it is documented that Mary Magdalene herself penned a book that didn't make it in. Why? Because she's a piece of property, what does she know? She probably remarked on how sexist everyone but Jesus was and that ruffled a few feathers so they decided that her book had nothing important to say. While we're on the topic of religion, has anyone ever noticed that there are very few books in the bible that portray women in a positive light? I mean Esther, Ruth, Abigale, Mary and Rahab are all notable but that's about it. Rahab gets an unfair mention because they say that she was a prostitute. Even though her behavior and closeness to her father's family seem to indicate that she may not have been. Its like "Okay...it says here that a woman helped our guys capture Jericho...shit...we can't have that, but if we don't mention that she helped she'll be a real bitch about it. We have to find some way to--WAIT! She did what? YES! We can say she was a prostitute! That's good...good, whew for a minute there I thought we would have to admit that a woman did something noble." Mary Magdalene had the same problem, there's no proof that she was a prostitute but because men had the control and they didn't see women as anything more than property...well there you go.

Now this leaves me to you, my fellow women I have one question for you:

What the hell is wrong with you?

Why are you allowing yourself to be conditioned to think that this is okay and its the way it will always be? Is it fair to you that our athletic programs get half the funding? Or that we're left out from the news not because our deeds are any less great, but because we're women and portraying us in a positive light would be unthinkable? What about the workforce? Did you know that in most corporations that some women make less than the men do and it goes unnoticed? What about this issue with Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton? It doesn't matter what your political standpoint is, we all have vagina's here and mine is pissed off at this (Thank you Eve Ensler for that).

I get that we have come a long way since the 50's and 60's, we have more rights now than we did then. We have the right to vote, to work whatever job we want, to wear whatever we want, and not be labeled as piece of property on our husband's tax form. But what good is any of that if we don't have any respect? I can't tell you how many times I've heard how women can't be president because of one simple ailment: PMS. Okay so because I don't have chocolate I'm going to let that override my common sense and policies and nuke the son of a bitch that won't listen to me.

In 1503 when Queen Elizabeth I sat on the throne she received the company of Gráinne Ní Mháille, or Grace O' Malley who had come because her sons, Tibbot Burke and Murrough O'Flaherty, and her half-brother, Donal-na-Piopa, were taken captive by the English governor of Connacht, Sir Richard Bingham. She had sailed to England to petition Elizabeth I for their release. In a matter of hours Elizabeth apparently took to Ní Mháille, who was three years older, and the two women reached sufficient agreement for Elizabeth to grant Ní Mháille's requests provided that her support of many Irish rebellions and piracy against England ended.

May I remind you that the conflict between England and Ireland had been going on for most of Gráinne Ní Mháille's life. She was about 40 when she sailed to England. I think you know where I'm going with this, so I'll just let that hang there.

What I'm getting at is this: Women deserve the same recognition as men do. We deserve the same benefits, funds and healthcare. We are not symbols of sex, nor are we objects of your animalistic desires. We are not stupid, we have opinions; we have the ability to carry life, to nurture and to carry on despite impossible situations. We are the anchors that keep a family together, we are the mothers to some of the greatest individuals that have walked the face of this earth.


We have the ability to be great leaders, if only those with narrow minds would see it. I see it, and it looks pretty damn good to me. Lets get on it ladies!

At least, that's how I see it.
Cheers!