Online Harassment

The Internet is probably the most influential and fundamental invention of my lifetime. I’ve seen the birth of America Online, Macbooks, iPhones, and Androids; I’ve seen obscure websites like Facebook and Twitter grow into the juggernauts they are today. It’s pretty amazing to be a part of something like that.

However.

I’ve also seen the darkest parts of the Internet and what it can do to people. How it can ruin and sometimes end lives, and how one click of a button can change everything. I was watching a popular show on HBO called Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and he was covering a story about Internet harassment. It’s mind blowing the amount of harassment that goes on, and if you don’t think that it does or that it’s not a big deal well congratulations on being an average white guy. If you are a woman and you make the “mistake” of trusting someone, or if you dare to have a thought in your head and post it on the Internet then you are probably going to face some sort of harassment or even worse. Take Anita Sarkeesian for instance. Those of you who are not familiar with her probably aren’t into video games; she’s very popular amongst that group of people, sometimes for the wrong reasons. Sarkeesian is a voice for women in video games and a critic as well; she frequently posts her reviews online and vocalizes the obvious sexism in the video game industry. She has not only received lewd remarks for doing so, but some of these are much more serious and threatening. She has received death threats not just geared towards her, but her entire family. She has also received rape threats that often are graphic and way too disturbing for me to even quote. Despite the threats she still keeps going, refusing to let these threats of violence deter her from her end goal.

Amanda Hess, a writer who posted a critique on the harassment of women online, received threats that were along the lines of “I’m going to rape you and cut off your head.” She went to the police, (it is against the law in California where she lives to make threats of bodily harm) and the police officer that came to her door didn’t even know what Twitter was. The officer didn’t really think that a crime had been committed even though clearly it had. When the police don’t understand something they cannot investigate it,if they can’t investigate it and come to a conclusion, then the person who committed the crime gets away with it. How would you feel if you were that person? Knowing that this sick individual got away with doing harm to you or your loved one?

Online harassment doesn’t just stop at threats of violence; there is another way women are harassed and humiliated: it’s called revenge porn. Revenge porn is where private and/or nude photos are posted online for the world to see without their consent. Now I can hear the response already: “Well if you don’t want that to happen don’t take those sorts of pictures!” First of all, not all of the pictures are taken; some are stolen from hacking webcams. Secondly that statement is what I like to call “victim blaming.” What you do in your own personal time with your partner is YOUR business, the news and other sources have hard-wired this sentiment in our brain. What victims are often told are “Sorry about your luck, but you trusted the person so it’s kind of your fault” or if it’s about general harassment some victims are often told “Just turn off your computer, it’ll go away eventually.” Okay first “turn off your computer” is not practical because we use the internet almost every minute from our PC’s to our phones, I mean somewhere in the world right now there is a sheep herder in some remote location using wifi; secondly blaming a person for something because they trusted another person is stupid, what if that person stole from you or worse? How would that make you feel? “Oh sorry about your loss but it is kind of your fault for trusting that person.” Insert any other crime into this situation, “I mean if you don’t want to get robbed, don’t live in a house!” “If you don’t want your identity stolen don’t shop online!” See what I mean? It’s all about the way we think about these things, and how they are presented to us. It’s always the victims fault until suddenly you are the victim. What you do with your significant other is your business, and if they betray that trust then our response shouldn’t be “well you shouldn’t have trusted them.”

If a woman goes to the police stating that someone threatened her life on Twitter, or if she goes to a lawyer because her vindictive lover posted nude photos of her online the response should not be “What in the world is Twitter?” or “Well you should date better people.” This is 2015, and the fact that women are still being harassed just because of the simple fact that they are women with thoughts is ludicrous.

The purpose of this article is not to rant or rage, the purpose is to get people to think of things differently. We need to raise our daughters to be strong and independent, and our sons to be respectful and upstanding. If you go to John Oliver’s YouTube page and watch the video on Online Harassment, you’ll see it has a 40% “downvote.” Why? Because people don’t want to talk about it or acknowledge that it’s happening and that’s the major part of the problem. We can be part of the solution by bringing it out in the open, talking about it, and teaching our children that these things are wrong.

#4: A quick guide on how to be a classy bitch by THE Classy Bitch

Come on ladies.... Don't you ever just want to scream? Like maybe, just maybe the loud vibrations emitting from your vocal cords will make everything better.
-It will make the kids that you stupidly agreed to chaperon stop standing on the bus so they don't fall and crack they're heads open, spilling their brain matter.
-Or maybe it will make the asshole (not to be confused with little old ladies or men, you show the highest respect for them because that will be YOU someday) who's been driving 20 miles under the speed limit for 5 miles, speed up because you're about ready to drive into his backseat.
-Hey who knows, it may just help the government realize that you ARE in need of federal student aid and they'll grant you the money that you deserve so you can finish your education.
-Or maybe screaming at town meetings will somehow get your point across and the government won't do what it damn well pleases.
-What about the laundromat who completely ruined your Oscar de la Renta dress that you were going to wear to this kick ass party? Surely screaming at the small Korean lady will make her replace the $300 dress that she just ruined.
-Or the couple that has no discretion what so ever and is practically having sex in the food court while you're trying to enjoy your wonderfully prepared salad.
I don't have to tell you that everything mentioned is wishful thinking. But honestly sometimes being a bitch is essential to a woman's sanity and the human race's survival. I mean which would you rather have: A woman who just totally humiliated you because you did something really stupid that she could have just overlooked OR A sugary-sweet woman who overlooks you're stupidity and insensitivity who's smiling at you over her wine glass and telling you that the wine you just drank contained high volumes of arsenic and you're going to die in 30 seconds? The problem with some women today is they don't know how to be a bitch and maintain a certain level of class and dignity. Well my friends, allow me to enlighten you:

1.) Subtly and discretion are key. You must maintain a calm demeanor in the face of poor manners and lack of chivalry. For instance: You're in line at the department store and you drop your wallet, giving someone who obviously does not understand the concept of a line the opportunity to cut in front of you. Politely state that you were in line, if they do not acknowledge you or they smirk don't get angry. Simply offer your sweetest smile and say something like this: "Its okay, I understand why you need to get to the front of the line. I would rush to buy something new too if I was wearing that."
2.) Do not let them see you sweat or cry. Tears show defeat in certain situations, they also can be used to obtain several things of value or instill guilt. However in the case of your boyfriend screaming at you because you were late because of traffic DO NOT let him see you cry. Instead, show him the error of his arrogance. If he's being an asshole because you're late simply remind him of the times he was late (preferably important events: family dinners, etc.) or how you were forced to sit through a boxing match when Desperate Housewives was on.
3.) When faced with another bitch, test the water. If your rival is experienced in being a classy bitch DO NOT go head to head with her, instead befriend her and learn her secrets and where she shops (classy bitches usually have fantastic style). If things don't work out and you have a fallout, you now have all of her secrets AND (I would hope) a pair of her Jimmy Choos.
4.) You must give them at least one chance before you release your inner bitch. It's just common courtesy. If you're on a plane for 6 hours and get stuck with a rather chatty-kathy in the seat next to you, give them one warning: "It really is nice to meet you, but I'm dying to finish this book. I hope you understand." most people will get the point and shut up. If they don't ( I mean you gave them fair warning) its time to release the bitch: "You know in this novel I'm trying to read someone very similar to yourself gets thrown off a cliff because she just couldn't keep her mouth shut." or "Look, I asked you nicely the first time. I can't read with someone who has the voice of Richard Simmons on speed chatting my ear off."
5.) Some people don't get that when you buy something it's yours. In the case of roomates this is a common occurrence. You buy food for yourself, they consume it before you get a taste, the shampoo you buy is mysteriously disappearing faster than you thought after 2 days, your body spray is disappearing and then reappearing with less in it, etc. You've tried to be nice by asking her to kindly stop. She won't. Now you have no choice but to get nasty. Some replace things like shampoo and food with less desirable items, which is good. However we must not forget our wit my fellow womenfolk. If she's eating your protein bars, using your shampoo and body spray you have but one thing to say: "Obviously you have some problem of trying to change your drab and dull appearance into something more divine or else you wouldn't be using my shit."
6.) Men cannot help it, when a striking woman walks by they turn their heads and look. So do you when the Orlando Bloom look-alike walks by. However if they're constantly remarking how hot Megan Fox or Lindsay Lohan are or how perfect their boobs are, then they need to be shown the error of their ways. If this is a problem, nonchalantly say: "You know I was talking with [insert friends name here] the other day and we just couldn't come to a decision on who had the best body: Collin Feral or Hugh Jackman. If you think that was a grueling argument you should have heard the one we had on who had the bigger dick." He may say that it doesn't bother him...but we know that it so does.
7.) Finally, the Twilight obsession. I get it, you love it; you think that Edward Cullen is sex on a stick. Fine, if you want to indulge yourself in that sort of crap that they call 'literature' go right ahead. But do not try to make me see reason. I stand by my belief that Edward Cullen is NOT a vampire but merely a personification of the 'bad boy' hero and the overly used 'forbidden love' cliche. You want a vampire, read Dracula. If you are unfortunate enough to have one of these people as your friend...first my deepest sympathies, second if they know that you don't like it but they're trying to make you like it, then they aren't your friend. So feel free to use this:
Cullenite: "OMG EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN TWILIGHT BELLA EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN"
You: "Could we please talk about something else? You know that sort of thing doesn't interest me."
Cullenite: "I know but how could you not like EDWARD CULLEN?!?!?!?! HE'S SO HOT! EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN"
You: *sweet smile* "Sweetie did you know that people who tend to obsess over fictional characters tend to die alone in one room apartments with 30 cats?"

So those are just some helpful hints. Its tough out there ladies and though we try to be sweet, caring, compassionate, and upstanding women sometimes...well we need to release our inner bitch (while maintaining our classyness) in order to show that we're no-nonsense. Ultimately, people (especially men. Not boys, real men) will respect you more for standing up for yourself.

Cheers!